People everywhere love Windows. —Bill Gates
In a world without walls or fences, who needs Windows and Gates? —unknown

windows error haiku

This has made the internet rounds, and has been replicated in many locations, but too frequently the original authors don't get credit. Charlie Veron and Jim Rosenau of Salon TableTalk originally hosted a contest for creative error messages for Windows in February, 1998. Not all are Windows-specific, but all are wonderful.

Winner

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

—David Dixon

I'm sorry, there's -- um --
insufficient -- what's-it-called?
The term eludes me ...

—Owen Mathews

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

—Peter Rothman

Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows
I begin again.

—Chris Walsh

The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.

—Barry L. Brumitt

Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?

—Pat Davis

ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.

—Mike Hagler

wind catches lily
scatt'ring petals to the wind:
segmentation fault.

—Nick Sweeney

This site has been moved.
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
have to delete you.

—Charles Matthews

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

—Simon Firth

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

—Howard Korder

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.

—Bill Torcaso

The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist.

—Joy Rothke

To have no errors
Would be life without meaning.
No struggle, no joy.

—Brian M. Porter

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

—Judy Birmingham

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

—Francis Heaney

Winner

Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?

—David Carlson

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

—David J. Liszewski

Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.

—Charlie Gibbs

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

—Suzie Wagner

Server's poor response
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.

—Rik Jespersen

Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.

—Jason Axley

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

—Margaret Segall

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

—James Lopez

There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can't bridge.

—Rahul Sonnad

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

—David Ansel

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

—Cass Whittington

No keyboard present.
Hit F1 to continue.
Zen engineering?

—Jim Griffith

Hal, open the file
Hal, open the damn file, Hal
open the—please Hal.

—Jennifer Jo Lane

The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.

—Jason Willoughby

Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."

—Len Dvorkin

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

—Ian Hughes